The modern world today revolves around the concept of finding love instead of focusing on self-care. Everyone seems to seek happiness, validation, and affirmation – but what if the underlying problem is that the most important person in your life is actually YOU? At Love2Love.lv, we call it self-love, and it is the most important aspect of nurturing a healthy relationship.
Self-love entails respecting and accepting yourself regardless of your imperfections while being in a positive mental space. Once you start to love yourself, you create a strong emotional base from which to give and receive love in a healthy, balanced way. This guide is intended to explain to you the importance of nurturing and loving yourself and how it helps you establish your relationships with others.
What Does It Mean to Love Yourself and Why Is It Important?
Self-love is different from selfishness and vanity. Self-love is compassion and kindness towards yourself. Loving yourself means taking appropriate steps to take care of your mental, emotional and physical health. It means feeling comfortable in your skin without needing anyone’s approval to feel that way.
In reality, self-love is more than just enjoying a bubble bath or treating yourself once in a while (and yes, self-love entails that, too!). Self-love is about building a healthy and positive relationship with yourself. Once you do that, you’re able to enter relationships with the right understanding with the other person and set healthy boundaries.
The phrase ‘love yourself’ is often frowned upon and considered vain and egocentric. In truth, it cannot be ignored how crucial self-love is especially while dealing with romantic relationships. With self-love not exercised or perpetuated, one’s partner becomes the cause of unrealistic expectations and emotional needs that no single person could ever fulfil, leading to dependence, resentment or, in worse-case scenarios- unhappiness.
Here at Love2Love.lv, self-love is the first pillar in building an authentic, balanced and sustainable Love. When you love yourself, you learn to expect better and healthier relationships and set a standard for the way people should treat you.
Step 1: Accept Yourself and Self-Value
The first step in learning to love yourself is accepting yourself and your worth. This step could be daunting, especially when you’re coping with negative self-talk, a condescending worldview, or feeling disparaged in life. Reassure yourself that you are worthy of respect and love simply because you are alive.
Asking yourself questions like, “What would I say to a friend who felt this way about themselves?” is a good starting point to fight those negative self-doubt emotions. Most likely, you would have reminded them of their strengths, qualities, and unique attributes. Extend the same compassion and kindness you do for others towards yourself.
Helpful Tip: Seek out a mirror and bring out a piece of paper and a pen. Start writing down all your qualities, from being empathetic to hard-working and witty; keep this list somewhere visible to you so that you are reminded of how valuable you are.
Step 2: Be Kind to Yourself
Self-sacrifice is also about having a difficult conversation with yourself, especially during tough times. Treating yourself compassionately while dealing with mishaps and errors is always helpful. Most people have some flaws, but bringing forth your inner empathy when you’re feeling at your lowest portrays self-compassion, which involves forgiving yourself and not interrogating yourself every time there’s a feeling of past failure.
Often, giving empathy is easy, but receiving it is much harder. This is especially true when you factor in relationships. It can be hard in relationships to be forgiving if you don’t live up to your expectations. But being kind to yourself is needed in stressful situations, and doing so can create a healthy self-relationship.
Tip: Next time you find yourself in a tough situation, speak kindly to yourself. Ask yourself what you would tell a friend if they came to you with the same predicament. Instead of being harsh on yourself, provide that same support.
Step 3: Make your Mental and Physical Health a Priority
Self-love means paying attention to your overall well-being and how you feel physically and mentally. You will want to make sure you engage in activities such as exercising or sleep that provide nourishment to your body.
But it’s also being aware of your mental state. Make sure you take care of your overall self, let yourself unwind, and actively manage your emotions. It needs to be put out there that your self-love measurement needs to take your mental health just as seriously, if not more than your physical.
Tip: Whatever the practice may be, whether it’s meditating, devouring a nutritious breakfast, or even going for a refreshing stroll outside – the habit is extremely welcoming. Making such self-care measures on a daily basis establishes a strong sense of self-love and emotional stability – without offering any resistance.
Step 4: Strong Self-Preservation
Setting boundaries is no walk in the park, especially when it comes to saying ‘No’. Unfortunately, boundaries are often taken for granted, even when they require self-love to an extent. Deciding to ignore a few requests or putting yourself first shall never make you feel guilty, except when you know how to ‘self-love’ and when to prioritize your mental well-being.
If people-pleasing falls under your scope, setting boundaries will require more effort than anticipated. Nevertheless, claiming what’s rightfully yours and feeling valid when doing so will make you blossom.
Tip: Give saying no with a smile a shot. If an event springs up that you don’t care to attend – kindly turn it down. Setting boundaries requires skill and persistent practice but can be accomplished single-handedly.
Step 5: Compliment Yourself Like You Would a Bestfriend
If you find yourself suffering from negative self-talk, that’s primarily due to your internal dialogue not being the best. But there’s no saying you can’t fix it. Try and focus on the positive nuances, giving yourself the encouragement you dearly deserve. Nurturing oneself is not an excuse, so if you find it challenging to do so, it’s time you address the ugliness within.
Whenever you check yourself thinking negatively, take a second and think to yourself, “Would I say this to a friend?” If your answer was ‘no’, exercise that thought more positively.
Actionable Tip: Create empowering statements about yourself and ensure that you read them aloud to yourself each morning. Statements such as “I am worthy of love” or “I am proud of who I am” will help change the way you think about yourself and also help boost your self-acceptance.
Step 6: Show Compassion to Yourself
Love is something that manifests slowly, so learning to love yourself is an ongoing task. You can not expect it to happen instantaneously. There will also be moments when you revert to your old habits. But it is perfectly fine! The trick is to be tolerant towards yourself. Think of it like this: self-love is just like a romantic relationship; it takes time, care, and continuous development.
Actionable Tip: Make note of your and observe your journey over time. Having a spacious journal where you write down your practice of self-love and emotional growth can help. Reflecting on your experience makes the changes you are trying to encourage more permanent.
How Self-Love Improves Your Relationships
Loving yourself is a journey and if you are on it, it is going to make your relationships healthier. If you understand and love yourself, you are better equipped to relate with others genuinely. Here’s how self-love affects your relationships:
Confidence: Loving yourself makes you more confident while interacting with others. Since you are not seeking validation or approval from your partner, you are able to achieve a more balanced relationship.
Healthy Boundaries: Self-love enables you to set boundaries in relationships without feeling guilty. This results in greater respect and less emotional exhaustion.
Mutual Respect: Self-love makes it clear how one wants to be treated. It allows the person to attract relationships built on respect and equality.
Emotional Stability: Self-love leads to emotional stability and enables one to manage the complexities of relationships diplomatically and maturely.
As If Your Life Depends On It…
Loving oneself needs to occur before loving someone else, and even more critically, it is not just a self-help fad but the foundation stone for every sustainable relationship. The boundaries you create while exercising self-compassion, taking care of your health, and valuing your being lays the groundwork for authentic and fulfilling love. Here at Love2Love.lv, self-love encourages fostering relationships. When love is felt within, sharing and loving others becomes a joyful endeavour.
The relationship that you carry with you sets the stage for the other relationships you will have in the future. More genuinely, start today by giving yourself the love and care you deserve and increasing the amount of love you get in return.